Leave your terrorist fist bump at home, because it'll spread the dreaded swine flu (I heard somewhere that's why the terrorists made it up and Obama tried to popularize it). NPR has a funny article up of alternatives to touching people in everyday situations. This Larry Craig-inspired gesture I like:
Because of certain lifestyle choices, I'm at a fairly high risk for getting the swine flu. I just started another year as an paraprofessional educator at three elementary schools teaching English to several hundred little kids a week. If that wasn't enough risk, these kids are mostly French, meaning that hygiene isn't really a part of their culture.*
But kissing hello is. I don't kiss the kids, but I do sometimes use the handrails on stairs (trying to avoid that now), breathe the same air, use the same chalk and markers as the teacher does.... Last school year I worked here, I was sick around six times, four of which were in just two months.
I wash my hands as much as possible, but even that's an occupational hazard. French elementary school bathrooms usually don't have liquid soap - they spring only for a big yellow bar of soap on a bar mounted to the wall next to the sink. And paper towels? That's a waste, of course, but don't expect to see an air dryer either. Most schools I work in have a cotton towel hanging on a rack near the bathroom exit. I don't have the courage to touch it.
The kids sneeze in the air, they touch each other and put their pencils and pens in their mouths and then touch their papers, and they're closed in with thirty of their equally dirty peers for six hours a day. It's an environment that's just asking for trouble.
And yet, as I posted a while back, it's obviously my choice to work with them. It's work that's rewarding in other ways, and since I get plenty of time off, I have time to keep working on Bilerico and on other freelance projects I enjoy doing. But it does increase my burden on the health care system, just as other lifestyle choices do.
While we're having big discussions about why some people should be left to die because we shouldn't be forced to subsidize people's bad lifestyles - like fat people, HIV-positive people, and undocumented immigrants - why isn't anyone talking about those people who work in elementary schools? I know teachers are almost universally beloved (except by the fundies), but, trust me, they're just as good of people as everyone else and they're fully capable of being jerks, just like everyone else. Why don't we tell these people that they can't have Thremaflu if they get the swine flu, since their dangerous lifestyle led to their illness?
Anyway, I found NPR's article hilarious, and I hope "the Larry Craig" (my term, not theirs) catches on. Foot tapping is a respectable way to show affection for others, but I'm not even going to let my shoe touch the French elementary school bathroom towel.
*Just to clarify, I'm not a francophobe. I've lived in this country for four years in three very different regions (Lorient, St Etienne, and now Paris). Check out this comment someone I know left on my blog when I forwarded him this post:
in french we don't take a shawor every day, my don't wash our hands every times, it's like this, we are mediteraneens people, and it's not so important. so i'm agree with Alex's article, and i'm french.
I'm not being mean-spirited, but some European countries aren't all up on washing up as much as we are in the US, and I don't know how many times I've been called a paranoid germophobe just because I wash my hands after using the toilet every time or put food in the fridge right after eating.
The French may have invented pasteurization, but they use it with moderation.
Update: I should also put up this from my Facebook feed, because it's too funny that I would write this diary today:
And as a result of total chance, I fell at the school and twisted my ankle. I might need a day off, but my coverage by the state doesn't start until Nov. 1 (thank you, Sarko, for changing the statute just before the first medical problem I ever had in France).
I need a doctor's note to get out of work since everyone is insured here, but I'm not insured, and my boss told me I should have bought insurance in the US. I want to be like: do you know anything about insurance in the US? How in the world would I find a plan to cover me, overseas, for one month, that has a deductible low enough to cover a twisted ankle?
We'll see if I feel better tomorrow morning, and if I have the energy to go and fall down again at work to rub it in everyone's face, because I'm vindictive that way.